
While I thought about writing an uplifting, inspirational post today -- the last day of 2008 -- the truth is that I'm very much a realist at heart. Sure, I believe in hoping for the best -- but I'm one of those people who always prepares for the worst.
I do have great hopes for 2009. I hope that the economy will improve, that those who have been laid off will find jobs and the St. Louis Cardinals will take the World Series this year. Still, I think it might be a good idea to have a few caveats along with all those warm and fuzzy thoughts.
So, as my last post of this this year, here are...
10 Changes You Might See Coming to Your Workplace
1. The boss tells you management is trying to find ways to cut unnecessary costs, and it may mean everyone has to "pitch in" more. When you arrive at work the next morning, a snow shovel, a weed whacker and a garden rake are sitting beside your desk.
2. In order to cut real estate costs, your employer is subletting office space. The Chinese restaurant being run out of your meeting room is playing havoc with your diet. Still, it's better than the hair salon being operated in the break room. Those perms smell terrible.
3. On the day the copier is taken away because it's deemed "frivolous" equipment, the CEO arrives in a new Bentley and declares he's leaving for some time away in the south of France, because the office mood is "such a downer."
4. Outside business consultants can be expensive, so the powers that be brought in Miss Miller's 5th grade class to give book reports on "How to Win Friends and Influence People." You were especially impressed by the kid who dressed up as Dale Carnegie while reading his report.
5. The jerk boss who treated you and everyone else like dirt was just featured in the local newspaper because he invested every dime he had with Bernard Madoff. You grin like an idiot for two days, prompting human resources to talk to you about the dangers of recreational drug use.
6. The company used to provide Blackberries and cell phones, but say they're no longer in the budget. Instead, each employee is given a blanket, matches, firewood and a book, "Smoke Signals for Dummies."
7. Management sends out a letter saying that employee copies of "Who Moved My Cheese" are not appropriate fuel for the new smoke signal method.
8. Your new intern is Rod Blagojevich. You understand he came very, very cheap, but still spends too much time in the break room getting his hair blown dry.
9. The co-workers in your office who travel a lot have taken to wearing coveralls on the road. They say jumping into railroad boxcars while they're moving is hell on their nice suits.
10. You won't have to travel far for the company retreat this year. A Hibachi grill, wading pool and a generator for Guitar Hero are waiting in the back parking lot.
What are some other things we can expect in the workplace for 2009?

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