Can you tell when someone is lying to you?
Most parents can tell in a heartbeat when their kids are lying. Maybe it's because we know them so well, or it's written into our DNA, but when they say, "I didn't do it," our radar goes off.
At work, it can be tougher. These are people we may not know that well, although we spend lots of time with them. And yet, it's critical that we be able to spot someone telling an untruth, because their lies and deception could end up impacting not only us, but an entire company.
I once interviewed negotiation expert Harry Mills, and here are some tips that he offered to help spot someone who may be fibbing. While they may not always hold true in every situation, it's worth paying attention to these clues:
* Voice pitch rises, there are increasing pauses or hesitations and speech slows.
* Hand and arm movements don't seem to match up; doesn't use gestures to make a point. May touch nose, chin and mouth more.
* Person avoids eye contact and has a smile that seems forced or insincere.
* Answers more abrubtly or avoids direct answers. May begin to mumble or keep head down more.
* If numbers are mentioned, they are "almost" or "nearly" and are similar: "$30,000" or "30 companies" or multiples of that number.
* Avoids saying "I" or "we". May use phrases such as "to be perfectly honest" or "to tell you the truth."
* Is prone to verbal outburts that leak information.
* Has more "um's", "uh's" and and takes longer to answer questions.
Should you confront someone at work who is lying to you? Why or why not?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
How to Spot a Liar
Labels: 45things, Anita Bruzzese career advice, body language, boss lying, career columist, co-workers lying, deceit, how to know, how to tell, job candidates lying, liars, liars at work, lies
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