Thursday, June 9, 2011

How to Get the Boss to Listen to You


I'd like to say that because I've been in the communications business for a long time, I'm an expert communicator. But then, that wouldn't explain the responses I've gotten to some of my e-mails that state, "What are you talking about?" or the short-and-to-the-point: "HUH?"

I know that you can't take communicating for granted. It's something that you have to work hard at every day, and to forget that lesson can not only lead to misunderstandings, but also hurt your career. Here's the column I did for Gannett/USAToday on how we can all become better at it:

Bosses often admonish journalists not to bury the lead — meaning that the most important element of a story should be the first bit of information revealed to readers or viewers.

That's a lesson that a communications expert says everyone should take to heart when talking to their bosses or colleagues.

"You really need to focus on the point of why you're in a meeting, sending an email or talking to the boss," says
Ben Decker, president of Decker Communications. "You've got to be clear and succinct. People can get very selfish in their communications, but you have to keep it listener focused."

Bosses often admonish journalists not to bury the lead — meaning that the most important element of a story should be the first bit of information revealed to readers or viewers.

Too many people these days are either concerned more with showing off what they know or protecting their own interests, resulting in communication that is inefficient and offers little real value, Decker says.

That's a lesson that a communications expert says everyone should take to heart when talking to their bosses or colleagues.

And that can hurt your career when others become fed up, he says.

"You really want to move to a mindset from just informing the boss to influencing the boss," he says.

"Consider what is your point of view. Is it to get buy-in on a project or idea or get approval for a budget?"
When approaching your boss, Decker says begin with a strong statement that immediately has him nodding in agreement.

For example, saying "We need to be more efficient as a team" will grab the boss' attention, focusing on you and your opinions.

"You need a statement that he can't dismiss or disagree with. If you want a bigger budget or a new computer, tie it into how it will benefit the company," Decker says. "But don't start talking a lot of data. The boss is short on time. You want to get to the point immediately."

Decker says you can increase your communications savvy to have more influence in the workplace. He suggests:

• Critiquing your performance. Set up a camera in the corner the next time you give a presentation or hold a meeting.

"Most people have no idea how they really come across," he says. Decker says one executive he coached was shocked by how he led meetings when he saw his videotape; he made changes.

Decker also suggests taping phone conferences or even listening to your own voice mail to judge for things like energy, friendliness or clarity of speech. Don't worry about a regional or international accent as long as you can be clearly understood.

"Accents add character," he says.

• Using more face-to-face interactions. Email and phone calls are a vital part of any business, but human interactions make a real difference, Decker says.

If you can't meet in person, use online tools such as webcams, he says.

"Get your face in front of people any way you can," he says. "You have to connect emotionally with people, and you can't do that through email or conference calls."

• Adding variety. Any conversation should have what Decker refers to as an "ebb and flow."

Even the most serious conversation should have some lighthearted moments to release tension in your listeners.

"People have to like you. You want them to appreciate you and like being in the room with you," he says. Telling relevant stories is a great way to engage listeners.

• Eliminating bad habits. Don't fall into the habit of saying "uh" or "like" or "actually" too much or you'll start to lose your audience, he says.

"Don't be afraid of pausing," he says. "It shows confidence." Decker also advises eliminating cliches such as "at the end of the day."


What are some other ways to improve communication?


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3 comments:

Donna said...

Anita,

Thanks for the helpful advice.

I'm reminded of my client who always asks his people, "What's the headline?" Once he knows that, he knows whether or not he wants to talk about it.

Cheers,

Donna Svei
aka AvidCareerist.com
@AvidCareerist

Anita said...

Donna,
Your client sounds a lot like many people these days...we don't have the time (or energy) to wade through a lot of B.S. We need to get to the point before another 100 e-mails arrive!

Bob Warrem said...

great article Anita